My review-"The power of the dog" film.

I'm no film buff, by no means one of those oiks who can recite passages from Pulp Fiction, or who claim to have "really liked" Million Dollar Baby. I do like a good movie though, the best ones are like signposts to your life. We can all remember the first time we saw The Godfather, One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest, Midnight Cowboy and the like.

Over the years I've watched less films, time becomes more difficult to set aside as the kids get older. I do like to keep up though. To that end, the Oscars have become for me the little fella with the glasses (normally called "Pete") in Blockbusters who would steer you in the direction of a "must watch". Whether it was About Last Night or The Usual Suspects, Pete rarely got it wrong. Neither do the Oscars usually (obvious exceptions like choosing Forrest Gump over Shawshank as "best film" aside), so I kind of depend on "the academy" to give me a steer. When a movie is obviously going to win loads of awards, I actively seek it out.

So, "The Power Of The Dog", tipped to win everything on offer aside from animation (possibly). 

The perceptive amongst you will have realised I've written lots of words without actually talking about the film. There's a reason for that, it's shite. It starts off really slow, slows down a bit in the middle, then grinds to a halt before the credits.

I've read some people saying that it "makes you think", (these are normally the same kinds who wax lyrical about the "cinematography"). In a sense they're right, it certainly caused me to think alright. I thought about all the things I COULD have done with the two hours I spent watching it. I thought of hundreds of things, and with the possible exception of ramming wasps up my arse, ALL of them would have been more enjoyable.

Seriously, watch it if you must (and you probably "must" if you like films and want to keep up), but save me the lectures about cinematography and "mood".

The king is in his all together here. Let's not pretend or kid each other, let's just call this film for what it is, bollocks.