Wimbledon 2021/2022 season review, part 1.

The sun shone and the ground erupted, Dapo wheeled away as he completed a thrilling comeback against Bolton and all was good with the World. We'd already had a great awayday at Doncaster, and to now be involved in a ding-dong 3-3 with one of the big clubs of the league felt like our right of passage. In the immediate aftermath I stuck a few quid on a top six finish, and few who bounced up Gap Road after the match would have laughed at me either, despite what they say now.

So where did it all go wrong (George) from there? How on earth did we end up going 27 games without a win and being relegated with a bit to spare? How could we end up being quite such a disfunctional football team?

Well as you'd expect, with football being the most complicated of "simple" games there are many factors. Over the course of the blog, we'll try and touch on a few.

So firstly let's start with a positive. Every now and then a team, a coach or a player comes along and invents something completely new, a wholly alien concept to the game of association football. Klopp brought us "Gegenpressing", the Dutch brought us "total football", the Italians "Catanacio", while even the Wimbledon of old can claim to at the very least have had a hand in "route one" and "put it in the mixer".

Usually when teams are credited with a new invention, it's because it (whatever "it" is) brings success. I suppose though it fits in with the slightly contrary nature of AFC Wimbledon that we've managed to invent something which although so far has been completely devoid of any points whatsoever in it's favour, at least we can say without fear of equivocation that we were FIRST. We absolutely own this one. Indeed so "new" is it, so "out there" in it's conception, that there isn't even a name for it, in many parts of the football world they've never seen it before. I say "isn't" when really I should say "wasn't" because I've invented one now. So ladies and gentleman I give you, as our gift to the game of football, our invention this season. It is (drumroll please)....REVERSE time wasting.

Now time wasting is normally exceptionally annoying to the team that's behind. It's always been an accepted norm that if you're in front, you'll take ages over every throw in, corner, free kick and goal kick. Your players will go down injured, you'll happily keep pointless posession of the football in your own half, anything to drain the darned clock down, to keep the result exactly as it is.

Well this season, (with no lack of cunning in fairness), we've stood that whole concept completely on its head. How does that work? Well essentially once we get behind WE slow the game down, keep passing the ball around in our half without it having any discernable gain, Nik Tsanev takes ages over goal kicks (and in a recent development actually kicks them out for a throw in) etc. The game disappears like sand through a sieve, it's total genius. Our hapless opponents, expecting a late onslaught as we chase an equaliser/winner don't know what to do with themselves. They don't know whether to come into our half to try and get the ball off us, or just stand there and watch us pass it about pointlessly. 

It's a ploy which the term "lull them into a false sense of security" was absolutely made for. I'm making the assumption here that part two of the plan "then suddenly as they fall asleep watching us pass it around in our own half, we catch them unawares" is the part we haven't seen yet. We've perfected to a tee stage one now though, so watch this space.

Another completely new concept we've introduced this season (which I haven't got a name for yet) is the one where you get in a promising attacking position then reverse. This can be a throw in level with the opposition box, a good crossing opportunity, an attacking free kick even, but from there do we do the obvious? No siree, we don't (once again this is the clever bit). What we actually do is "precisely what the opposition is least expecting us to do" (Stephen Fry's General Melchitt would have a field day here). No we don't cross it, or shoot, or throw it into the box, we pass it backwards, then backwards again, then backwards again, then Nik Tsanev kicks it (usually out for a throw in). Teams usually get three points against us, but they rarely leave the pitch not scratching their heads, at least we can say that.

On the second "cunning plan", I hesitated to put it in as there is the danger I could be giving the game away. That said, the fella at Crewe obviously knew about it as he collected said back pass, went round Nik and sent us down, so the cat is probably out of the bag anyway.

It's been a funny old season though in a funny old game. Part two to follow at a later juncture.