Sunday, 26 April 2026

NEVER beaten!

There was something in the air. A few of us were convinced that we could go to Wigan and win, but if you asked any of us know it alls "HOW though?", "Why?" you were met with a blank stare. Our losing run had let's be honest gone from some "Sheesh we were a bit unlucky there" games and descended fully into "We didn't just get beat, we got absolutely battered" mode. Nearly all of our talismanic players were either unavailable or at the very best "Willing to give it a go" despite being obviously unfit, and while we couldn't seem to buy a goal we were conceding chances aplenty. Goals against were coming from all angles too. Set pieces, open play, caught on the break, cut open, you name it. But, there was something in the air.

Myles Hippolite (God how we've missed him) was kind of back despite looking about as fit as many of us in the stands, Patrick Bauer hobbled and creaked onto the pitch looking like he'd just literally walked off a budget flight from Australia, and Ryan Johnson was there, as he always is. There and ready to battle for the cause with every last drop of sweat.

The game was a funny one. Wigan had nothing to play for other than their managers assurances to his former club that they'd "Get it done", but they seemed momentarily nonplussed by our "You can HAVE the ball if you want, we don't want it" style. To tell the truth they weren't on their own. For a long time while Exeter led at Burton it looked as if we were pragmatising ourselves into the relegation zone, and our fans urged the players to "Show more urgency", "Get a fucking tackle in", all that stuff. I must confess I did too, we didn't seem to be getting anywhere.

Gradually the home team took control without massively worrying us. At the back though Ryan Johnson, Patrick Bauer and Isaac Ogundere were magnificent. The latter should have those two old pros on his "Christmas cards for life" list, what an education it has been for him playing with the old stalwarts. They survived on know-how, doggedness and determination alone. Ryan & Patrick looked about as fit as me, and at sixty this year and with a few pints inside me I still think I might have been faster than both of em. I said to a lad that I was worried because we couldn't KEEP making these last gasp blocks. Fortunately for everyone though I'm often wrong and was here.

Skivvers meanwhile got sent off for booting the ball into outer space when they were trying to take a quick throw in, and somehow we protected our goal and clung on. Our goalie seemingly hadn't been told that when he was kicking it was the green bit in the middle of the stands that he was aiming for, but it didn't matter any, we reached half time at 0-0.

The second half began and continued in much the same way. Callum Maycock was by now with his Duracell batteries outlasting those around him, Myles Hippolite won a couple of free kicks when somebody breathed on him aggressively and Ali Smith in his praying mantis style got his foot in. Tills and Seds began to venture forward occasionally, while up top Junior and Leyton Stewart ran around a lot, trying to make it look like we WOULD try and score at some point if Wigan weren't careful. Young Stewart is the most obvious Scouse footballer you'll see, all snarl, nip and bite, maximising his pain in the arseness to defenders.

True to form (and in all honesty what choice do we have) we made some subs around the hour mark. Aaron Sasu jogged onto the pitch with his "I've just won a competition" nonchalance, Zak Nelson (more on him later) joined him, and Junior Hackford. In truth none of the three could point at any particularly sparkling recent performances, but by virtue of the face that they can run and aren't actually injured, they were the obvious introductions.

The game meandered on, Burton (bless em) equalised and our heroic defence (which the whole team participated in) kept Wigan at bay. It was around this point that I said to my mate Ju "All it takes is one moment of magic"......

Cometh the hour, cometh the man and the ball bobbled into the Aron Sasu sphere just outside their box. Now I'm not sure who has taken more stick for this lads performances, him, Johnny ("Sasu must have something on him") or me for bigging him up so much. All of us though have suffered as this kid has looked like a lost puppy in a Wimbledon shirt. In truth this performance up until then had been no different. He'd half jogged, half ran around a bit, jumped in the vague direction of headers and generally not really gotten involved much.

Here though, out of nowhere, something clicked. The rumoured "best player on the training pitch" suddenly decided to show it. There was a little drag back, a dip of the shoulder and a swerve which magnetised three defenders to him before a deft little release to a sprinting Zak Nelson. He pinged it across the six yard box and the world held it's breath. Loitering with disinterest on the penalty spot was Antoine Hackford. Now this kid has been ridiculously labelled with the dreaded "He doesn't care" tag (along with Sasu) but here like a leapord exploding out of the long grass on the Serengeti he glided across the turf to smash in the near post winner.

The away end descended into magnificent "Limbs" until we nervously realised we had to survive five minutes injury time. There was still an opportunity for the magnificent Ryan Johnson in classic Peter Kay "AVE IT!" style to smash the ball into the opposite corner. Meanwhile Sasu no double buoyed by his game changing contribution took the ball and in a passage of play with looked like four spiders having a punch up in a kebab shop, won us a corner. The ref blew up and it was mayhem.

Johnny gave it the Jürgen Klopp "YEAH, YEAH, YEEEAAAAHHH" to the fans and as he put both hand on his head, there were probably tears in his eyes. There were in mine.

There was still time for Zak Nelson's Mum to make a big impression on a few lads on the train back "He's got a hot Mum, he's got a hot MuuuUUUUM, Zaki Nelson, he's got a hot Mum!" was the chant they were trying to get going in the Alex.

What a day though, what a team. One for the ages. Thankyou to the players and management team. ❤️

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