The Bayee Village-The@14TheFrog review.

We've been to the Bayee Village about 93 times, no really we have. When we used to run the Dog and Fox next door, we were on first names terms with all the blokes in the kitchen, or at least we would have been if any of them had the faintest idea what we were on about. Only a bloke called Chow could really speak English, but anyway we once invited them all to Christmas dinner with us and they came too. Lovely people they were (and no doubt still are). Even the little fella who set fire to his room once (they used to have a couple of rooms upstairs) can rest easy, I've forgiven him now. Many years ago I caught our pub dog at the time (Effie) running around with a live lobster in her mouth which she'd purloined from their as yet unpacked seafood delievery (I bunged it back in and said no more about it, OK I'm not proud of it but it was still alive for Gawds sake don't make me feel bad). I've got loads of stories, and it's fair to say our affinity with Marco and Peter is long standing, as it is with the restaurant which now sits on the old "Finch's" site.

Over the years little has changed with the Bayee. Yes these days there's a beardy man tinkling away on a Grand piano, you may even run into a dodgy Elvis impersonator from time to time (don't ask me why I've no idea), but as far as the food and the service is concerned, very little alters. Even the menu doesn't change much, and none of this is a criticism because nor should it. In short, the food is bloody good and you don't survive as long as these guys have if that isn't the case.

Last night we were a party of six which included Sarah's brother, the much vaunted (but completely anonymous in the UK) volleyball coach Hugh McCutcheon, as well as Kenny, one of the US team managers for the upcoming Olympics. These guys travel the World and eat in some pretty good places, but we were pretty confident that the Bayee wouldn't shame us or make us look clueless in the old nosebag department, so off we went.

For starters, we had all sorts of stuff. There was soft shell crab (which is flippin brilliant from here), some "short" ribs which my Dad claims to this day is the nicest thing he's ever eaten in his life, some pork dumplings, salt and pepper squid and all sorts of other stuff which I can't remember right now.

Then we had a "middle" course of the old duck with the pancakes and hoi sin sauce, the shredded cucumber and all that malarkey. To be honest, if I could only ever eat one thing from now on and this was it, naturally I'd be a bit gutted but for a couple of weeks I'd be well happy. You know the drill here, your supposed to nibble away but everyone dives in like loonies so that when the mains come you can barely eat any.

For mains we were doing that "here try some of this" routine which everyone seems to do in Chinese resataurants, and a combination of the many different flavours and probably one too many Chinese beers (chin sow, or something like that) means that I can't remember too much about it. It was great though, and I managed to spill a bit down the front of my best jumper I noticed this morning (always a good sign).

The service is always excellent, my only gripe being the "top the wine up" routine which does wind me up a fraction but never mind. They gave us a glass of bubbly on the old Mickey Mouse when we got there, as well as those bafflingly pointless fortune cookie things when we were leaving.

I'll be honest, we flippin loved it but then we always do. The Bayee may not be the coolest or the trendiest Chinese restaurant in London, but the food is as good as you're going to get. Pete who runs it is a great guy, and Marco who owns it is a lovely fella too. Go, I absolutely guarantee you'll enjoy it.

Amed Curry House, Wimbledon. The @14TheFrog review.

Amed is old school. No open kitchens, neatly stacked food or dishes which contain tamarind or galangal or any of that old nonsense. If Amed was a comedian it'd be Bernard Manning, it'd tell jokes about your mother in law and be mildly offensive to people who work in local government and/or have all the Levellers albums. You know what to expect the minute you walk in, and there's something quite reassuring about carpet with gaffa tape over the holes, the purple woodwork and the piped music which sounds a bit like the stuff off "It ain't half hot mum".

We arrived about 9ish on a Thursday night and it was about 2/3 full. I had two lady companions, not because I've gone or gangsa or pimpish in my old age, it was my wife and a good friend of ours. The two girls must have got swept up in the retro nostalgia because as I was busy ordering popadums and a bottle of Kingfisher, they ordered a bottle of Matteus Rose (I didn't even realise they still made it).
On the question of popadums Ajmed is in the "how many would you like?" bracket, whereas some places these days just give you one each. I was a bit stumped and order four between three of us without really knowing why, and when they came they were good. It's all about the chutneys and pickles really though, and the lime pickle was searingly hot and excellent. There were a couple of others which were a bit out there, one of which looked and tasted so much like tomato ketchup that I'd have to say that using the duck theory, probably was tomato ketchup. Indian people quite possibly eat lots of the stuff for all I know, but it was a bit out there all the same.

For proper starter I had a mixed grill thing, (for 2). It had chicken tickka on it, some lamb kebab things and something else which I can't for the life of me remember right now. It was probably actually about enough for one and a half, but I can see their dilemma in that it would read a bit strange on the menu if described too literally. It also had that sweet yellow minty sauce which you get in all Indian restaurants of this ilk, and it was good. Needless to say I wolfed the lot, save for a couple of "ooh lets have a bit of that" from the two girls.

Main was a chicken madras, boiled rice and naan bread. I got exactly what I expected, even down to the waiter bloke polishing the plate before he put it on the table which they always seem to do in places like this. He brought the food over on a little trolley, and he put all the dishes on these little steel table stand things. You always imagine they'll be searingly hot which would give the whole ritual a point, but of course they never are. Still, he seemed to be pretty happy to go through the whole rigmarole, so fair play to him and no harm done.

Anyway it was bloody good, I was full as a gun long before I'd actually stopped eating, and left there very happy with life (and dying to fart as well to tell the truth, but this is more a comment on my gastric situation than in any way reflective of the food). They didn't bother offering us desserts which is just as well (Kulfi is something everyone should experience but only once), and all in all the service had that weary professionalism of fellas who knew they were giving you what you wanted without poncing around where it wasn't needed. If these blokes were barbers, they wouldn't waste their time asking you where you were going on holiday, they'd just give you a good haircut.

The bill was about 70 quid, which considering the two girls had two bottles of the wine with the rope round the neck is very reasonable. Amed is a good old fashioned curry house, go and wollow in it. You won't be disappointed. 

The @14thefrog 5 minute noodle recipe.

I eat this a fair bit when I'm in rehab from a big night on the Tom Cruise the night before and it does the trick. It's not fancy, but if you feel that way inclined you can make it look quite flash.

You will need:

A wok.
Some veggies.
Some prawns (if you are posh, but they're not essential).
Some noodles  (fresh if you are posh, but "super noodles" or something similar work perfectly well).
Some soy sauce.
Some lemon juice (optional)
Some sweet chilli sauce (optional)
Some chilli and coriander.

Method:

 Depending whether you want "soup noodles" or want "noodles with sauce", bung some water in the wok and bring it to the boil. If you discover you haven't got enough water half way through, put some more in (very technical isn't it).

 While the water is boiling, chop your veggies (asparagus/broccoli/mushrooms/French beans/caulifower or whatever else you've got) into little pieces. Obviously stuff like cauliflower needs to be quite small or it won't cook.

 Once the water is just about boiling, chuck your noodles in along with either a stock cube or the little sachet you get in the packet. throw all the veggies on top and kind of let them sit in the steam. Bung your prawns on top of that, a glug or two of sweet chilli sauce and a squeeze of lemon if you've got any. Stir it all up, glug in some soy sauce to taste, and lob in a good handful of coriander. It's all be steaming hot at this point, so stick a cupful of frozen peas in for 30 seconds or so. Stir it all up and ladle it into bowls. I always bung some chopped up chillis on the top, but you don't have to if you don't want.

 It tastes really good and takes about 5 minutes. It's probably quite healthy too, give it a bash.

Wagamama-the @14thefrog review.

Me and Sarah went to the very first Wagamama a few times. It was in the West End (I can't be arsed to Google the street) and not far from a pub we were running at the time (The One Tun in Goodge St). It was downstairs in a basement and you had to queue to get in. The waiting staff would come down the line with hand held thingies and take your order while you waited, the idea being that when you got in your food was already good to go (seemed amazing at the time). When you got in, even sitting on long benches was out there and funky, while the waiters advice that food "all comes at different times" was just off the wall on the grooveometer. The food was good too. Even allowing for all the pretensious "Wagamama believes in cleansing the mind" nonsense on the menu, the experience was always great and we went back lots.

Over the years we've been to various other outlets around the world from time to time as well. Yes it got taken over by a big company, yes you felt a bit like a kid describing a pop band who'd "sold out" when you hankered back for the good old days, but it was always more than decent nontheless. Recently our kids have started badgering us (good word that, must use it more often) to take them to our local version. It seems in their school that all the in crowd go to Wagamama with their parents on practically a daily basis. No more mini dough-balls in Pizza Express or Macdonalds happy meals, Wagamama is THE place to be seen if you're nine years old these days.

So anyway given they finished yesterday at 2.30pm (who'd be a teacher?) we decided to treat 'em to a slap up bit of Yaki Soba, obviously as long as they tidied their rooms. No sooner had all the toys been kicked under the bed than we were in, no queueing on this occasion. Before you could say "Ramen" the kids were armed with pencils and stuff to colour in, while our lovely little Australian waitress gave us the low down.

Once we'd ordered, these were our observations. The coke zero was good, the edemame beans were nice and the little dumplingy things were OK. The rest?

I had a Yaki Soba thing which had waaaaay too much ginger. I experimented with loads of chilli oil and soy sauce to see if I could get the ginger flavour in a headlock, but it was way too strong for me and I had to give up and tap out. Naturally I ate it anyway (I'm like that) but it weren't great that's for sure. Sarah went for this chicken rice dish. What came out was a formed mound of rice, sitting in a pool of chickeny stock stuff, with some overcooked grilled chicken on top. Not good. The kids had grilled chicken with noodles. the chicken was obviously from the same batch as Sarahs, while the noodles had been pre-cooked but not refreshed and were all sticking together. If you have lobbed them at the ceiling in exasperation, they'd have stuck there like stringy limpets and would have been a bugger to get down. Bless em they made a fist of getting through it, mostly because of the obligatory "well if you don't eat up you won't get any dessert" line, but it was grim.

For dessert we had some ice cream which was fine. Our waitress was lovely, there was no service charge and those were the best bits of the whole experience. From now on, I don't care what all the cool 9 year olds are doing, it'll be a while before I'm back.

A book review-"Glue" by Irvine Welsh.

I don't read loads of books. I'm not a "booky" type, but just occasionally I go on a little spurt and read three or four in a month. I don't do books which are difficult to get into, or ones which you need a degree in phsycology/talking bollocks to understand. I don't read sci-fi either, I detest it, rather stick wasps up my arse to tell the truth. I do like a bit of Irvine Welsh though I must admit. If you've never read "Trainspotting" for instance, then your life is incomplete.

"Glue" isn't really part of the "Trainspotting" series (there's also "Porno"), but it's set in the same areas of Edinburgh and one or two of the Trainspotting characters make walk on appearances. It's written in Welsh's familiar fenetic style (at least I think that's what you call it) whereby much of it is in a broad Scottish accent. This takes a bit of getting used to (if you're Australian for instance I'd just forget it), and also he switches first person all the time so different sections are spoken through the eyes of different characters. Once you've got your head around all that though, he's a fantastic writer.

In this book, he talks of four blokes growing up in Leith, their families, their backgrounds and what ties them together. I suppose loosely this is the "Glue" of the title. As we watch them grow up, and grow with them, we get to know the characters really well as they experience football violence, their first shag, drink, drugs and all manner of life changing experiences. All the way through the book is funny, really funny, as well as being dark and moving to the point where it gets a bit heavy on occasions. At the end the whole thing comes together in a beautiful conclusion, and although it takes ages to read as it's so thick, this is a book which is well worth the effort.

I'm probably biased because I really like this author, but I'd give this book a 10/10. I bought my copy from the second hand shop for a quid. You can look in your second hand shop for it, or look on Amazon or something. If you're really stuck, you can bob down the Alex and have my copy. It's a fantastic read and I know you'll enjoy it, unless you're Australian.   

The Ship Wandsworth-The @14TheFrog review.

If you'd never been in a Youngs pub before and somebody offered you a big wad of cash if you could guess which was the busiest, you'd probably begin your search in Richmond at the White Cross. You'd see the riverside gardens crammed all Summer and you'd be congratulating yourself on how easy the task was, probably already spending the dosh you had coming. If though you got a whisper that you were slightly wide of the mark, perhaps you'd head to the iconic Dog and Fox in Wimbledon village, maybe even to the Founders on the south bank. You'd be wrong again however and if you didn't know, my guess is all the head scratching in the world wouldn't lead you to the right answer.

The truth is of course that although all of the aformentioned are massively busy and fantastic pubs in their own right, none of them can claim the title of the busiest. I'd forgive you for not guessing it by location and situation, but that mantle belongs indisputeably to the Ship at Wandsworth. You'd never have picked it, tucked away as it is behind a bus garage and beside a cement works, but nontheless it remains a fact.

The last time we went (about 18 months ago) it was on a Friday lunchtime. I remember it very well because we sat in the restaurant and I had the best fish and chips I'd ever had, except for the Magpie cafe in Whitby (and those of you who've been there will know it's high praise to be mentioned in the same breath) . The batter was crisp and flavoursome, the chips top notch, the fish snowy fresh and even the minted pea puree (not a favourite of mine) was pretty good. All in all that first visit made a huge impression, and we were always keen to return.

The head chef at that time was David Faunch (now at the Devonshire in Chiswick), and it was going to be interesting this time to see how things were under the stewardship of new head man, Shaun Harrington. We arrived in the bar about 8pm on a Saturday night in November, and it was absolutely banged out. The clientelle was lots of young (well younger than me anyway) professional types, lots of light blue oxford shirts with the collars turned up and blokes in rugby shirts or rowing tops. Very pleasant bunch infact, lots of wine, very female friendly and overall exactly like the sort of place I'd want to go. We got served quickly and the service had all the hallmarks of the management team here, happy, smiley and uber efficient. The bitter was lovely (quite important that) and we made our way through to the restaurant. Good job we'd booked, because that was cakeoed too, and we got stuck into studying the menu.

The menu itself was short, but only in the sense that it wasn't filled up with dishes that you just know for a fact that nobody ever orders. All of the stuff on there was potentially a seller, and although the fish and chips wasn't there I was more than tempted by a nice bit of rib-eye or the pork belly for which the pub is famous. For starters I had lamb rump which was superb, my Dad had a tomato soup which he said was "bloody incredible", my mum had a provencal tart which she said was "nice" (she's difficult) and Sarah had a red mullet (I think) escabeche which was lovely. My brother had a fois gras thing which was beautful. As usual I stuffed my face with the fresh bread which kept coming, and I must also say the service was absolutely top notch.

For mains I went for a rare rib-eye, and though it was lovely I should have gone for the belly pork (as I absolutely implore you to do if you go). My bother had that, and it was spectacular. He offered me a taste, and I made sure I got a few chips into him to fill him up so I got about the last 1/3 of his pork as he ran out of steam. Sarah had a seabass dish which was superb, Mum and Dad had steaks and all round the food was fab, really excellent. We did get a dessert menu, but just couldn't fit any in. We had some coffees, paid the bill and came home.

The only thing I can possibly find fault with is that I belatedly realised that the fish and chips was actually available all along. It was on a big blackboard (or redboard in this case) but as I had my back to it and it was on the opposite wall, I didn't see it. Somebody on an adjacent table did, and from the look of theirs I can safely say it hasn't changed much. I would probably have gone for it just for old times sake, but to be honest even though I now know about it I'm still going to go for the belly pork next time I go.

You should too. Do yourself a big favour and go to the Ship, pubs don't get busy and famous by accident and this one is no exception. The Ship is right at the very top end of food pubs (and indeed drinking pubs). It fully deserves its place alongside the likes of the Angelsey, the Devonshire, the Lass O Richmond Hill and the Hampshire Hog. We are lucky in South West London to have such fantastic operations within easy reach, forget your brasseries and your bistros and use these pubs, they are better.

IMPORTANT-In the interests of fairness it is only right and proper that I point out that The Ship is owned by the same umbrella pub company as my pub, The Alexandra. Equally, the industry renowned and award winning management team at The Ship I am happy to count as friends. They are Oisin Rogers (General manager @Mcmoop), Phil White (restaurant manager @Philwhite101) & John the pub manager (@Johnny_rocket). That said, that isn't why I've given it a glowing review. The reason for that is that it's flippin' superb.

Dinner at The Alglesea Arms- the 14thefrog review.

We'd heard great things about the Angelsea Arms, and to be totally honest by the time we got there I was absolutely starving. It was pretty busy when we arrived, and the bar had a lovely warm feel about it. We hadn't booked, and being a party of eight I actually thought it might be a bit dodgy getting in. As it was though, they pulled two tables of four together and we were in business.

The menu was printed on paper and dated, so much of it obviously changes daily. It's not long by any means, eight starters and five mains along with a few sides and desserts. There's also a specials board, from memory there's about four or five mixed dishes on this as well. It certainly isn't cheap either, (country pork terrine starter £8.95, pork chop main £15.50), and when you consider there's the old "discretionary" service charge of 12.5% on top because we had the temerity to be in a party bigger than six, it certainly starts to rack up fairly quickly.

The guys all went with Harvey's bitter (4%, £3.75 a pint, again not exactly chirpy) and the ladies all went with bottles of wine. The service was efficient enough without being massively over-attentive or smiley, but within about 15 minutes or so we were getting bread and starters. The bread was lovely, and of the starters I tasted all were excellent and I think mine was the best (which doesn't happen often). I had a rare roast beef salad with harseradish cream, and as I say it was flipping lovely. There was probably more horseradish than you need, but the beef was beautiful and there was a fair old whack of it too (£8.75 plus 12.5%). I also tried some of the curried parsnip soup which was good (£5.50 plus 12.5%), and some parma ham and poached pear (£8.95 plus 12.5%).

For a main I went with a grilled chicken breast with lentils off the board. It was a really tasty dish, and once again all the different mains I tasted were very good. The cheapest main was a Lamb neck (£15.25 plus 12.5%), and like I say this was pretty near faultless cooking in every dish. The service by this stage was becoming slightly more functional as the staff were coming under a bit of pressure, but overall the girls who were serving us were efficient without ever being particularly smiley or friendly. A couple of people went with cheeseboards afterwards, one or two had desserts but as I'd eaten the best part of a basket of bread I was pretty full so I swerved it.

 It's easy to see why the Alglesea Arms has such a good reputation, the food is outstanding. It's up there and comparable with the very best in London pubs in my view, the fact that it was packed on a Wednesday night while other pubs around it were empty illustrates that. If though they are going to charge at the very top end of the scale as they do, and if they are going to lump a 12.5% service charge in as well, I'd expect and hope for service which is more than just taking an order/dropping a plate off. To do that they need in my opinion to employ one more waitress during the busy periods to give the staff more time. The other alternative of course would be to drop the 12.5 "discretionary" service charge altogether, then let everyone tip on merit of good service.

All in all though I'm glad I went to the Angelsea Arms. It does great food. You should go too, just make sure there's not more than five in your party. If there is, sit on two tables which have an 18 inch gap between them and pretend you don't know each other. That way, you'll be able to decide on your own tip level.